Sourced from my brain and twitter. Join in with #shouldbebannedfromads
People doing accents that aren’t their ownOpera singersDumping out the contents of a bag into the bin to represent having a big poo“XYZ just got better” and ALL VARIANTS THEREOFBlue liquid to represent blood or weeMen being endearingly hopeless at household tasks or caring for childrenPretend testimonials from actors (take note, toothpaste ads)Children whisperingBullshit stats like “72% of 8 women who tested this product agreed”Mascara ads filmed with fake eyelashes“Up to X% more effective.” “Up to” includes 0% dammit!Brand ambassadorsMeerkatsMade up words. L’oreal’s “MILLIONIZER” and Three’s “INTERNETTING” are particularly irksomeChoirs and, in fact, all types of singingSlow-mo sneezing (“that’s just nasty”)Pseudoscientific names (one example was “hydrofidrpolylypicides”, haha)“Designed for humans” – well, OBVIOUSLYHorror movie trailers when you’re home alone and scaredFilming starving African children with a £5000 camera, then trying to make us feel bad for themImpressive but obvious word-weaselry: “here at Shell, we design fuel that works on a molecular level” …Duh“Like us on Facebook” as a call to actionBowels, the word “poo”, talk of bloody poo or bloody stoolsPeople staring in wonderment at absurdly ugly carsOrgasm-faces while eatingClassic songs rewritten about the brandAny and all songs we actually like (Blur’s “The Universal” will never be the same again)Jean Claude van Damme’s mulletFake job titles – as in “Hi, I’m Rick, a gum maintenance specialist”Children as adultsAirbrushingTerrible erection metaphors – like deflating balloons to represent being terminally bonerlessCats being smarter than dogs, in turn being smarter than menAds written to win awards, not sell productsHashtags. I don’t entirely agree with this one, but I will say misused hashtagsAdverts for adverts! What is this?! I’ve seen an ad for a Paranormal Activity ad three times this week!Talking animalsThe idea that you ‘deserve’ or ‘are worth’ a productSean Bean’s voiceMatt Berry’s voice (who is Matt Berry, you ask? Just imagine a BIG, EPIC BRITISH VOICE, VERY MANLY, PROBABLY TALKING ABOUT MOUSTACHES. There you go.)Carol VordermanQR codesUnrealistically attractive call centre fem-botsPlinky-plonky music (sorry @paulruk, but I don’t agree that it’s OK for Google and Apple!)Gross ads at teatimeThe word “bloating”The word “lovely”Irritating sound effects on radio ads. Especially bloody alarm clocks and bike bells
Three from @tomcopy that particularly made me laugh:
Supernaturally good-looking guy strokes clinically clean-shaven chin, smiles at self in mirror, woman comes up behindHumorously age-inappropriate behaviours (babies rollerskating, grannies rapping etc)‘At [brand], we believe [improbable principle]. That’s why we [tenuous link to product/service]‘And the most rage-inducing:
MIS-SOLD PPI. HAVE YOU BEEN MIS-SOLD PPI? PPI? PPI?! PPI! AAAARGHThe Go Compare man (big surprise)POEMS, argh. And I’d like to add: song lyrics read as poemsAwful dubbing – the new Captain Morgan ad was mentioned several timesStephen Fry EVERYWHEREBrad Pitt for Chanel – new but fantastically unpopularSo there we have it, adland. All the stuff we’re not allowed to do for a while if we want our friends and countrymen to stay sane and not hate us. Well, more than they do already.
If I’ve missed anything that should definitely be banned from ads, add it in the comments.
[Massive thanks to all these lovely twitter people: @djtommytrouble, @HWmadeeasy, @holly_smithxxxx, @alexandervelky, @pwcfreelance, @chalkey79, @jacksleight, @stuandrob, @jonofthesouth, @annatullx, @suchak_, @the_chadd, @nnnomi, @stevie_kemm, @itsconor_ithink, @smh627, @joe_n1nety, @sam_20man, @mattdenton96, @30sumat, @ohforfucksam, @joannaax, @melissa_garratt, @mrharrymay, @downatheel, @akramsohaib, @lozgriffin, @stevenashworth, @waqas_1990, @conorjriverol, @laylanewman, @cherylyy, @carlajackson__, @emmawalpole22, @brianmathabela, @caitlinblount, @alconcalcia, @ericledford, @emilyd628, @dazgale, @iamatapdog, @eloise1104, @rhiannoncoats, @im_danclarke, @uchihadams, @oorightt, @brokensmiles_, @pawwow, @andyrae92, @keithgrimes, @blueb3rry_, @jordanxbuchanan, @tippett1996, @jemgillam, @saritaamy, @tomcopy, @digital_pariah, @baldtel, @andywilletts, @danmallerman, @larnerc, @jonnohopkins, @betarish, @james_l_thomas, @alextheboy, @hairingtons, @paulruk, @thedukeofbork, @nealedenaro, @dedhedzed, @rowan_kby].
Tags: advertising, fail, irritating, rage, Rants, should be banned, tone of voice, TV ads
